Why haven't I been posting? Porque no eh subido contenido?

 

As we all know having a loved one with Alzheimer's/ Dementia is a challenge. People often ask me, Why don't you place your mom?  well, because there are more days than not when she recognizes me and my kids. When she says Mija, thank you or Where is Luna or Anthony (my children) 

My whole life changed when I made the decision to have her live with us. I thought I got this, not a problem, Oh boy was I wrong. She was signed up for a day center, My thought was: that they pick her up to take her to the day center, and I go to work when I get home she is dropped off. Well, sometimes plans don't necessarily pan out how we think. More than once I had to call out from work and stay home because she simply didn't want to go. Dealing with those behaviors early in the morning would just set me up to have a mini meltdown, the days of those types of challenges started being more and more often. I couldn't keep calling out, so I had to quit.

What to expect at end of life with Dementia

 I'm a firm believer in keeping informed and educated in order to be prepared for what the future may bring on this Bumpy road. I leave you with an informational video from hospice nurse Julie a fantastic educator. 

We are on this bumpy road together, you are not alone!

No estan solos en este camino torcido del Alzheimers

Be Prepared, Be Informed, Be Empowered.

Preparate, Informate y Empoderate

I send you beams of virtual good vibes.

Les mando mucha buenas vibras virtuales. 

A few Golden Rules when Communicating with Alzheimer’s and Dementia People = Algunas reglas de oro al comunicarse con personas con Alzheimer y Demencia

Trust me I know this is such a difficult time that we are going through, but it is extremely important that we keep a positive attitude, I know it’s a tough one. Seeing our loved ones decline every day a little more is very distressing to us. We need to learn, As I always say we need to keep informed always seek new ideas, and educate ourselves on what to expect. Don’t forget about taking care of yourself, and do not lose yourself on this road, It’s a bumpy one and you better hold on because it’s going to change you. It will be up to you how you’ll survive this journey. I urge you to keep a positive attitude!!

Let's talk about how to communicate with our loved ones affected by Alzheimer's or Dementia;

Always Agree = Why argue, go with the flow. As they say “Read the room” In this instance, it’s “Read the person” I always approach a person by touching their shoulder and making eye contact.

Redirect = Never, ever try to reason, it’s not going to work period.

Reassure = Please don’t lecture, it is wasted energy.

Reminisce = A lot of people won’t agree with me, I do use the word “remember” or “remember when”…. And it opens the door for a positive conversation.

Never, never, NEVER.. Say “I told you” or “Don’t you remember we already talked about this” Oh, my! That’s opening a huge can of worms that you may not be prepared to handle.

Always encourage according to their abilities and if it’s not appropriate for them, get creative and diffuse their intention. Change the subject, and focus on something else. Stay away from saying “You Can’t”

I have adopted the following words into my interactions with everyone not just ALZ or Dementia “Can you please help me with this” or “Do you think you can help me with this” Using these phrases works in two ways; one they feel useful, even if it’s for a few seconds. You are not giving a command, which may not be well received.

Never Condescend…. Need I say more? Let’s put their shoes on, how would you like it?

Always keep, cool, calm, and collected they feed off our emotions, Be careful with your tone of voice. Mine can get out of hand; my daughter always knows what mood I’m in just by listening to the tone of my voice. Keep that in mind.

Avoid, avoid, sarcasm or irony. I do have to confess that one thing my mom has held too much to my dismay is sarcasm, It comes out of nowhere and I’m always surprised when I hear it.

  Ahora en ESPAÑOL  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Home Visit from the Social Worker = Visita de la Trabajadora Social

 

Today we had a visit from the Social Worker, as I’m contemplating a Day Center for my mom. She used to attend one, but it was such a hit-and-miss for her to actually make it to the center. That was a major issue for me, at the time I was still working. I quickly realized that I had to make a decision, as I couldn’t be calling out because my mom didn’t feel like going to the day center. It was a situation that caused a lot of anxiety for me because I never knew how the day was going to play out. So, I quit my job and here I am a full-time caregiver for my mom, with very little help from the only sister who lives 10 minutes away. Oh, yes! But we won’t get into that right now. That’s another post.

I would get her dressed, make her breakfast, get myself ready, and by the time we were ready to head out the door, or so I thought. She would completely refuse. If you have ever encountered a person with Alzheimer’s once they say NO, it’s really hard to get them to change their minds. As creative as I can get, with all sorts of white lies, Yes, I know there are a lot of people out there who don’t believe in lying and are completely against it. Well, I have to do it almost on a daily basis; I have gotten so good at it! No, I’m not proud of it. But it has to be done.